Guest Blog: Glenn Beck's final episode

I asked for bloggers and now I have to own up to it. At least once a week I'll try and post a guest blog on top of my two. This week's blog comes from Frank, the first of my guest bloggers to return for another go. Any comments I make are in italics.

-Don Woods

I am an odd person. I will be the first person to admit this. One odd thing that I love to do is watch shows that I completely disagree with. It is one of my biggest guilty pleasures. I do not do this so that I can yell at the television (I leave that job to watching sports). Instead I like to just listen to different viewpoints and think to myself. One of my favorite shows to do this with just ended. On June 30 the Glenn Beck show aired its final episode on FOX News. I did not watch this show all the time, just every once in a blue moon. It was entertainment to me. Every time Beck said something crazy or acted out in ways only he could I was entertained. Beck was able to come up with ideas that would make me think. Not think that he was right in anyway, just make me think. Now, Beck isn’t falling off the face of the earth. Beck has left his show but will be still explaining his view points and trying too, “save the soul of the country” (his words not mine). He will be continuing his crusade on his new Beck TV online show. This will air every week day for two hours and can be watched by anyone … who pays a monthly or yearly fee. Since I will not be paying for this, because I do not care that much, I think I will list my favorite things about Beck, and wait patiently for him to say something controversial on his online show so that all other news organizations will talk about it. In honor of his 9/12 project I will list nine of them.

He's got the whole world, in his hands.

1. The Crying: Beck has shown over the years that he is a very emotional man. His crying has been one of the favorite trademarks of Beck. It seems to have gone on to be the popular thing to do if you are a conservative. Beck has cried many times on his show. He did not cry during his last episode (If you bet me that he wouldn’t you would have definitely walked away with some of my money) but throughout his show he has been known to shed a tear over his love of country.

Go to 2 min 22 sec to just see crying

2. The Chalk Board: This has been another trademark of Beck. In his last episode Beck brought to light a startling revelation. Beck was actually thinking of getting rid of the chalk board. Luckily for all of us casual viewers one of his camera men, Oscar, told him to keep it. Thank you Oscar. Oscar saved the best teaching tool that Beck had. With his chalk board Beck was able to warn his audience about the dangers of liberals, progressives and the dark arts. Actually defense against the dark arts is only taught in Hogwarts (they are also the only other place that still uses chalkboards). Now that Beck is moving to the internet maybe he will advance to a smart board.

I hate whiteboards. And having a whiteboard on your

dorm room door is only an excuse for people to creatively draw dicks.

3. Sarah Palin: Glenn Beck has never been shy about his love for Sarah Palin. As a casual viewer I can tell you this is because they have so much in common. Each has conservative values and a common home life. Both Beck and Palin have a child with Down Syndrome. This has brought Beck to celebrate and defend the often attacked Palin. Now this is not why I like the connection between Palin and Beck. The entire reason that this is the third favorite thing about Beck’s show is one interview that Beck did with Palin. It is possibly the greatest example of, “Hey that Palin person isn’t too smart is she”. It took Palin 22 second to answer George Washington to Beck’s question, “Whose your favorite founding father”. The 22 seconds was filled with Palin rambling and Beck saying, “Bull crap”. (fast forward to 4:33 to get the question)

Mama Grizzly herself.

4. His Shoes: The man wore sneakers with a suite. This is just humorous to me and was such a part of his oddness. That’s all I really have to say about that.

Sneakers help give him street-cred. It worked for Fred Rodgers.

5. Beck Being Beck. Glenn Beck is an interesting human being. Beck has created a persona that captivates people who love him and people who cannot stand him. He has the style of Andy Bernard (My brother came up with this and we both mean no disrespect to the Nard Dog) and the crazy host rants of Howard Beale. Beck is just an enigma. He believes there are evil progressives destroying the country and decides he will tell the world this through acting like a crazy radio host.

As a lover of the film Network, I despise all parallels to Beck and Peter Finch's character.

6. Obama is a Racist: One of my personal favorite moments happened when Beck was not on his own show. When Beck was on the Fox morning show, “FOX and Friends”, Beck came out and said that he thought President Obama was a racist. Beck said this while talking about the controversial idea Obama came up with to deal with the Henry Louis Gates arrest. He later backed tracked on the statement but it is still one of the best moments in Beck’s history at the station.

7. Magnets: Beck brought up how many magnets he has in his last episode. He stated that he actually had employees who just made magnets for him. The magnets were usually pictures of people or organizations. The people were Obama, Stalin, Mao, Hitler and anyone that had to be connected to evil or socialism. The signs were usually a swastika, a communist sickle, ACORN or unions. Having these magnets just seemed awkward to me. Did they have to go to a magnet store (or wherever one would go to buy large magnets of peoples faces) to get this done or did they just have a magnet maker in the studio? How awkward do you think it was for the individuals on magnet duty if they had to go to a magnet store? They had to get some odd looks. “You framed an Asia poster? How hard did the people at the frame store laugh when you brought this in?” The line from the “40 Year Old Virgin” was all I could think about when I saw his magnets.

Magnets, how do they work?

8. Glen Beck Satire: Poking fun at Glenn Beck has been one of my favorite parts of Beck being relevant. Everyone has done it. The Daily Show, The Colbert Report and Saturday Night Live have all taken turns making fun of Beck. The Daily Show has done an entire show in the Glenn Beck style. The Colbert Report decided to poke fun at one segment that Beck did called the War Room. This was where Beck created scenarios in the future that would be devastating to America. Colbert decided to do his own version called the Doom Bunker (Here is Beck’s and Colbert’s. I do not know which one is funnier). Saturday Night Live has had veteran funny man Jason Sudeikis impersonate Beck during their skits about Fox News. All of these have made me laugh. I thank Beck and these comedians for brightening my nights (or mornings when I watch them online).

His literature will live on.

9. Why New York is influenced by communism: This is by far my favorite conspiracy theory that Beck has ever had. An episode was spent on Beck explaining the communist influence on New York Cities’ architecture. He showed paintings and sculptures in many of the buildings at Rockefeller Center and showed how they are direct correlations to communist and progressive and their ideas. He was trying to show how right under the American people noses progressives were and are influencing our lives. He showed statues that represented communist ideals, mainly the hammer and sickle imagery, and paintings that have the faces of famous progressives and communist painted in them. When I saw this episode I thought, “Come one man”. I think this example best sum up the crazy conspiracy side of Beck. Conspiracy Beck is the best kind of Beck and is why he is one of my guilty pleasures.

-Frank Mahoney