Forget the 5th of November

It really is strange how some things catch on. V for Vendetta was a decent hit in the box office, making $130 million. But with it's semi-modest success, V has made a peculiar impact on society. Now every Nov. 5, fans make sure that nobody forgets the 5th. But while Guy Fawkes Night has had a royalist theme for hundreds of years, misinformed fans and pseudo-intellectuals are shaping Guy Fawkes Night into their own kind of celebration. A celebration that just rings false in every way.

I'm starting to get sick of this face.

Produced by the Wachowskis, 2006's V for Vendetta was a nicely watered down revolutionist's dream. In an effort to make it more appealing and easier to swallow for general audiences, the original graphic novel was watered down to be popular but edgy enough to sell V masks. It's no wonder Alan Moore distrusts film adaptations so much. Each attempt studios have had with his work has just fallen with a dud. Instead of a gripping world of gray, the film offers the same jackbooted thugs that every other Orwellian film offers. Now that's nothing against Orwellian stories. I personally love dystopian stories. The difference with the V film is that it could have been so much more of a statement. Plus I loved the original graphic novel before the movie was made.

I liked V before he was popular.

Now, every Nov. 5, people feel the need to post about V on Facebook. These people need to realize that V is not an actual person. He is a fictional person, not a revolutionary to be idolized. The original V character in the graphic novel was practically a psychopath, something far from a role model. And those that use Guy Fawkes Night for their own futon revolutionary ideas miss the whole original point of Guy Fawkes Night. It's not a celebration of revolutionaries, it's the opposite. What they are celebrating every year on that night is the Gunpowder Plot failing and Fawkes' execution. That's why they collect a "penny for the Guy" and burn his effigy. But what was originally an inspired bit of irony by Alan Moore has led to a mass misinterpretation by fanboys. It's like if British people started celebrating Thanksgiving, but from the Native American's point of view.

The real Guy Fawkes wasn't a revolutionary, he was just Catholic.

There is no greater perpetrator of this bastardization of tradition than Anonymous, the hacker collective. When not found trolling around the 4chan website, these hackers fashion themselves as revolutionaries. By using their computer skills and love of wearing V masks, Anonymous hope to further whatever agenda they come up with on 4chan to bully anyone they don't like into submission. While they do pick some nice targets, such as Scientology, every /b/ board member I've met has been nothing more than a socially inept jerk. This may be a complete generalization but, unlike most that are against Anonymous, I've actually been around them. It all happened my senior year of high school when I was in Philadelphia.

They're not revolutionaries, they're just brats.

We were in the middle of a Philly adventure, taking pictures in front of the LOVE sign, when we noticed a large group of people amassing in front of City Hall. My friends and I, bored and curious, decided to walk over. Most were wearing V for Vendetta masks, some were decked out in cosplay like outfits. In our boredom and hoping we could get a cool V mask as well, we followed the protest. Turns out a Scientology Temple was going to be put in Philly and the local Anons decided to do something about it. While using their right to protest is commendable, hearing them talk just ruined it for me. Those that were properly informed on the subject seemed to of gotten all their information from South Park episodes. The rest appeared to just like being in a group and wearing masks. Their supposed biggest strength, their anonymity, instead turns them into faceless stormtroopers. Indiscernible from their brethren, they just seemed to enjoy joining a faceless bully organization.

Pictured: Not me (I was holding the camera).

I have no faith in Anonymous or anyone that hides behind a V mask. I'm not demonizing Anonymous like most news organizations. I just see them for what they are, confused kids who just want to do something to change the world. And while V might of had a point when he talked about the importance of symbols and ideas, hiding behind a V mask has just become trite. Statements shouldn't be made with mass market Halloween masks. And besides, as previously stated, V was a fictional character who wasn't even that much of a hero to begin with. So please, let us forget the 5th of November. Repeating the poem in a status every year is just childish.

Nouveau Facebook, aka the new Facebook

For my blog, I rely entirely too much on Facebook. It has become a normal occurrence to see me link a new blog on Facebook, in a desperate plea for page views and attention. But my spamming ways are endangered. Though I have always had a healthy stream of Google hits, my friends reading from Facebook links has always been my viewership backbone. Facebook's new newsfeed setup makes it harder for me to force my prose upon you, dear reader. And it is because of that I take up arms against it.

I really do love this "Deer Reader" picture. I hope the person whose Flicker I stole it from doesn't mind.

Facebook is the ethereal device with which all our social lives become entangled. Unless you're paranoid about your privacy or a stuck-up contrarian, you have a Facebook (most likely, as we speak, it is constantly open in some far-flung browser tab). With our social lives so dictated by the iconoclastic social network, every little cosmetic change sends a giant ripple in a very small social-pond. We all feel it and we all have an opinion on it, however minute that opinion may be.

This is me adding more fuel to a pointless fire.

As I stated once before, Facebook became popular for its simplicity. It was no frills. It was intuitive. It was addicting. We all signed up for Facebook because it was the bare essentials for the social-interactive experience. With each update, Facebook began to lose its soul. For each innovation, a part of the simple experience of liking the status of a girl you met at a party became flashier. All of our overstimulated senses were further battered with more newsfeeds and options. In short, Facebook sold its soul and lost its way.

Mark learned nothing from Tom.

Facebook doesn't see it that way. They see themselves as evolving to fit a more interactive market. What they don't realize is that the vertical integration of social media is self-destructive, like a drunk scorpion stinging itself. People come to Facebook for Facebook. And while they had plenty of room to experiment before, Google+ has changed that. Google+ is the first real competitor that Facebook has had and while the website deflated under its own hype, the new Facebook might just be the boost that Google needs. When your users are the product you are selling, such as with social media, the organization cannot afford to lose anyone to the competition. Especially a competitor as fierce and evil as Google.

On second thought, maybe I shouldn't bemoan the owners of my blogger service.

The truth is, all this whining means nothing. That may seem like a cheap point to make towards the tail end of an opinion piece but bear with me. We make our statuses complaining about the new Facebook, but the irony is we still use Facebook to complain about it. We are so helplessly addicted that we can't even admit we have a problem. Blinded by our own dependence and self-interest, we stick with the beast for fear of never actually being heard. Each update of Facebook has been met with backlashes yet eventually we all get use to it. That's the beauty of humanity, we get use to anything. And if anybody looked at any screenshots of the beginnings of Facebook, it would look as alien as the changes do today.

Facebook circa 2007.

Does this mean I will no longer use Facebook? Not in the slightest. I still appreciate the product. And, as stated earlier, I depend on it for you to read this very blog. And all the chain letters in the world will not mean anything to the people who control the bandwidth. As long as it is free it will be used. Make no mistake. Despite what the chain letters may say (I read all chain letters like they are being read through a blow horn by an eight-year-old girl), it will always be free. Facebook is making too much money off us already. They don't need any more from us.

"Yo, check and see if she has any beach pictures in her photo album."

Start of a new year and a return to the blogosphere

In today's day and age, media analyzers try awfully hard to create new words. With technology permeating our everyday lives, it's a race to come up with all of these new phrases and a race to take credit for them. Which brings me to my excuse for not updating for a month. For the month of August, I decided to go on blogcation.

There it is, my addition to the English language. Samuel Johnson has got nothing on me.

Blogcation has probably already been used as a word before now, but with no listing in the two biggest vocabulary reference tools around (Webster's and Urban Dictionary), I will now take credit for the word. You see, after spending a year posting twice a week, I figured I was due for some relaxation. A nice little blogcation to regain my concentration and come up with future ideas. I feel I earned some relaxation time, even if that relaxation time consisted of having two jobs and taking up jogging.

This is how I picture myself as I jog.

I didn't want to cheat you, dear reader, by making you read the work of a burnt out misanthrope. So I took some time off. Now that I'm back at school, I have no excuse for not writing again. And after spending a month brainstorming ideas, I hope for a nice return to form in my blog writing. Having people read my work is its own reward.

That and the accumulation of page views.

So be on the lookout for new posts by me throughout the week. For any prospective guest bloggers, the invitation to write a post is still open to anyone interested. It's time to pick up right where we left off in our blogger/reader relationship. And I can't wait to continue that relationship. In case you feel I am missing a topic you would like to discuss, you can also suggest anything that you feel is worthy of comment. Remember, I'm not just here to rant, I'm here to be your guide to pop culture.

I'm like a cultural Sherpa.

So welcome back to me. Here's to what should be an awesome year.

First Signs one year anniversary

There is nothing more precious than your child's first birthday. You spend the whole first year worrying if they will even make it to the ripe old age of one. Now, while my blog is not even comparable to a child, the rule applies. There is a certain sense of validation after being around for a year (yes, validation). It has been a trying year, but I'm happy to see I actually made it this far and stuck with it.

Unlike my promise to jump rope regularly.

One year ago today I first sat down and went to work on this blog. The main motivation, admittingly, was boredom. Pop culture was the only thing I could really talk about with any conviction, so the topic decision was easy. To be honest though, I wasn't sure if I had it in me to keep going for a year. I started this blog wanting to say something new, but I was happy with saying something at least worthwhile. What I settled on, for the most part, was saying anything at all. Reading my past postings, I can't say I liked all of them. I do like a good amount of them though. I'm even proud to of written a few of them.

What I don't regret are my two panda posts.

A strange thing happened as the first months rolled by. People actually started reading my stuff. Not just glancing either but people were actually interested in what I had to say. It felt pretty good. In a years time I've accumulated, at the time of my writing, 19,587. I feel like that's a number to be proud of for someone that is just doing this for giggles. It makes me happy that I took two days out of my week to write a quick post (even if it meant writing two posts on Sunday). My friends even became familiar with my complaints about it being blog day (then again, I complain a lot anyway). Either way, all the Facebook clicks and Google hits have meant a lot. Even if it's someone that's just looking for a picture of Chicago Hope.

You would be surprised how many people Googled Chicago Hope pictures.

A year is slowly becoming less and less of a milestone. Getting older means time goes by faster. And time going by faster is a pain in the ass. A year ago I was different. In the time since I started writing this blog, I became of age to drink legally (and I admit to making home in a few bars), I'm now going into my senior year of college and I've even become an uncle.

This was also the year I watched the Wire.

I'd like to thank you, dear reader, for sticking with me and reading what I have to say. I hope my writing has gotten better since I began. If it hasn't, then I hope it gets better by next year. I want to thank my friends who regularly read this, my family who put up with me and anybody else that may stumble upon my meager blog. I enjoyed writing on here for a year, and I will continue to write. So once again, thank you dear reader.

Yo.

The Rise and Fall of Myspace

In a report by 24/7 Wall St., ten brands were listed as on their way to extinction. The list had Sears, Sony Pictures, American Apparel, Nokia, Saab, A&W Restaurants, Soap Opera Digest, Sony Ericsson and even Kellog's Corn Pops. While the inclusion of these companies on the list is not an outright death sentence, things are dire enough to be noticed. One company that particularly caught my eye was Myspace. Myspace, the once gargantuan social networking playground, appears to be on its way out. While that may be no surprise to those that have abandoned Myspace for Facebook (such as myself), it's still interesting to observe the meteoric rise and fall of the once ubiquitous friend site.

I wonder if Tom has a Facebook?

I joined in 2006 (I think it was 2006 because it was when I first got my braces off). Before Myspace really hit it big, self-involved pre-teens relied on Xanga and Angelfire websites. Social networking didn't really go past having an AOL Instant Messaging profile, complete with Green Day lyrics or declarations of schoolyard love in different colored type and comic sans font. Myspace was a place where we could all play in the same narcissistic sandbox. It was an extension of the worst parts of interpersonal relationships. There is no understanding or law on Myspace. There is only battles for Top 8 membership and chain-mail bulletins.

A place for friends, enemies, acquaintances and photos taken in bathrooms.

Like most guys in my school, I made my Myspace at the insistence of a girl. She was a girl, she was a friend, but she was never anything more. I was too naive to realize my crush on her, however I did make a point to slow dance with her every school dance (I was a slow dancing machine). She even supplied me with my first photo. In rebellion of the Top 8 paradigm I chose my Top 8 favorite comedians instead of being forced to choose my friends. Then I realized how lame I was being and finally dove face first into Myspace.

Myspace was so long ago, my login consisted of my Compuserve email.

I mostly used Myspace to pimp out my interests. I didn't have an obnoxious amount of pictures or a Top 32. The four years I had my Myspace account activated I never once changed my background. For many, changing the background and style sheets was a part of their individual expression. Me: I just thought it slowed my computer down when I tried to visit their page. I mostly just posted music and Youtube videos. I would use a certain theme and then send a bulletin out for people to watch the videos I chose. To this day I have no idea if anybody actually went to my page to see the videos or if they were just annoyed. I'd like to think people enjoyed it.

Just how I hope people enjoy my blog.

Myspace did have its problems. Like all of the internet back then, Myspace was seen as a stalker paradise (which was true for the most part). Hyper-sexualized adolescences who never heard of Lolita put themselves out on their profile pages. But, overall, Myspace was innocent. It was mostly just an over-glorified way to publicize your garage band. It never made any adaptations or advancements in the social network field. Myspace instead sat back and assumed that its reign would be forever. Then Facebook came out and, it just seemed classier. Myspace was too loud. Visiting someone's Myspace was a race to the pause button so you didn't have to listen to their music. Facebook was more streamlined and more mature. All the trappings of Myspace were left out. And individuals such as myself flocked to the relatively new website.

You don't see Myspace with an Oscar-nominated flick.

All of the careers launched by Myspace are now as stagnant as the website itself. Tila Tequila was once billed as the most popular person on Myspace, back when a statement like that actually sounded like it meant something. Two CDs, a television show, a book and one lesbian sex tape later, Tequila is mostly forgotten by now. Dane Cook also rose to fame through the social networking site. When he started out, Cook was nothing but a hyper-active comedian on stage. After being one of the first comedians to make his own Myspace, he had a legit following. Whether you hate him or not, it's impossible to deny the draw Cook had for a four-year span between 2003's Harmful If Swallowed and 2007's show in Madison Square Garden. Myspace is, arguably, the main reason for these two star's infamy. Their whole careers were propelled by the Myspace phenomenon. And, just like Myspace, they are now merely footnotes in popular culture.

To be fair, I didn't have the hatred for Cook that others experienced.
I completely admit to the fact that I owned his first two albums and
memorized most of the jokes.

The Facebook migration was slow to come for many. I wasn't too sure of Facebook at first, so I tried to maintain both accounts. Eventually though, Myspace just lost out. Anybody nowadays that admit to still using the dying network are met with condescension and nostalgia. Its time is over and, like 24/7 Wall St. noted, the brand will probably fade away into obscurity soon. I erased my Myspace in 2010. I stopped using in 2008, but just never bothered to erase it until 2010. The day I erased my Myspace was an important day for me. It was closing a chapter on my previous life. In all honesty, it felt like growing up. It remains to be seen whether Facebook falls for the same trappings as Myspace, but for now Facebook is stronger than ever. The social network is dead, long live the social network.

Consider this a time capsule for the younger, more innocent Myspace days.

Osama Bin Laden dying and my generation

Osama Bin Laden is dead. I doubt that is news to you. And if that is news to you, than thank you for living under a rock (like Spongebob's friend Patrick) and reading only my blog. But for the 7 billion other people in the world, this news is a week old. And a week in internet time is a millennia. Now I have no doubt that many of you two-finger-typing older people reading this on the internet genuinely care about this news. Bin Laden was a mad man that was on the loose for ten years longer than he should of been. The fact that nobody believed the news when it first broke is proof enough that we never believed we would ever find him, much less kill him. He is dead though. And for my generation that's like killing the boogieman. But better, because the boogieman doesn't blow up a building in Manhattan.

Every picture on here is going to be from memebase.com.

Now I try and stay away from politics on my blog, but this is too big to ignore. I found the news out on Facebook of all places. I was on someone's laptop and saw a status about it. Now, being the shrewd individual I am, I didn't believe it. Never trust news on Facebook (side note: how did so many people fall for the Bin-Laden-death-video virus? My newsfeed was full of gullible people). If you believed every status you've read then Kel Mitchell (from Kenan & Kel) has died nine times over. But then more statuses came. Google searches didn't reveal anything at first but after a few reloads, the news finally came. This maybe a testament to the speed of word of mouth, but nevertheless it was confirmed for me. And the reaction was massive.

Statuses started going nuts. People in my dorm started going nuts. Eventually, a crowd of college students started building up and going nuts. Through a Facebook event request, around 200 kids started marching around campus. Yes there were noise complaints but that wasn't the point. The college kids gathered with each other, not because anybody told them to, but because they felt they needed to. I spent my Sunday night circling the campus, watching mobs of fellow students marching and chanting. It was a celebration. And best of all, it was completely impromptu. It just grew, to the point where the campus security could only sit back and watch. This didn't just happen on my campus either but all over the nation. You see, it wasn't a riot. It was a sigh of relief ten years in the making.


We were the generation that grew up watching the World Trade Center collapse. It was horrible for everyone but to grow up seeing that made it personal to us. I remember when it happened, I was in middle school. The principal made an announcement that morning not to turn on the news or go on the computers because the internet and cable were out (as kids we believed everything on the loudspeaker). We weren't even allowed outside for recess. Then when I got home I saw my older sister watching the news. When she told me I could hardly believer her. Like Bin Laden's death, it didn't seem possible. It was too big of an idea to comprehend.


That day would be the catalyst for all foreign policy made since and has affected everyone's lives. Really, news of Bin Laden's death is our Berlin Wall moment. The fall of the Berlin Wall symbolized the end of a terror that engulfed the lives of a whole generation. But at the end of the day, destroying that wall did not mean the end of communism. There was still a lot of work to be done. The Berlin Wall was, at the end of the day, just a wall just as Bin Laden was just a man. And just like with the wall, there is still a lot of work to be done. Both events however defined a fear for a whole generation.


I'm not naive. I realize that killing one man does not change the world. But with that being said, Bin Laden's death was a symbol. Just like the Berlin Wall, it was a symbol for triumph in this more cynical world. And when you're dealing with a war against an abstract idea like terror, symbolic victories may be the best kind. Be warned, whoever takes Bin Laden's place as a leader in terrorism may try to make a name for themselves soon. But for now lets enjoy this victory. We've waited long enough for it. My generation grew up being constantly reminded of our time's great tragedy. Well that chapter can, for the most part, be closed.


Thanks to the internet, everyone can express themselves over the news. Then again that also means that conspiracy theorist have an even bigger pedestal to act crazy. While it's completely shady that he's been buried already, those people need to learn to not be so cynical. My personal favorite is the meme. It's a style that no other age group really has but mine. And lately the interwebs have been flooding with one-off jokes about Bin Laden's death. People our age passionate about such an event. Patriotic without having to be told to be patriotic. Making captions in bold, white font isn't just a cheap joke. It's how we get our revenge. Now, that we finally realize he is gone and no longer in fear, we can make fun of him without remorse. It's the American way.

So where were you when you heard Bin Laden is dead?

Youtube is the new America's Funniest Home Videos

There was once a time where life was embarrassing for everyone. It was a time when ABC sitcoms were actually popular and Jesse Frederick did the theme song for every show (the man was a god on the piano). It was during this time that America thought Bob Saget was actually funny. I am happy to say that in these enlightened times we now know that Bob Saget is not funny, but there was once a time that Saget had two separate television shows to stretch whatever lack of talent he had.

He looks like Mr. Rogers less cool nephew.

While Full House allowed a whole ensemble of characters to carry the show, there was another television program that was plagued by Saget. America's Funniest Home Videos (or AFV for short) relied solely on the premise that America wants to see Bob Saget make corny jokes about home movies sent in by white people. America would tune in every week to watch whatever wacky video was chosen by ABC and to watch Saget die a little inside after every joke he had to tell. AFV was the kind of show that you watched at your grandmother's house when you were bored or your family didn't have anything to talk about. The videos ranged from people getting hurt by doing something stupid to pets or babies being cute. Now with AFV gone (I assume it's not on anymore), America still has one bastion for their clips of adorable animals and awesome injuries: Youtube.

Continuing America's desire to watch the mundane.

When you think about it, Youtube is really a lot like AFV. Look at David After Dentist, a video involving a drugged up child being ridiculed by his father in the car ride home. With 66 million views on Youtube it's insane how popular a whacked out kid can be. Really all the video's missing is corny jokes by Saget and it could of won the $10,000 grand prize on AFV. Instead of Saget you have asinine comments to read by users who fail at fundamental socialization. Comments are either pointless quotes from the video you just watched or unnecessary anger derived from said video. No wonder I don't even bother to read the comments anymore.

Youtube is an amazing phenomenon that is not going anywhere. How many hours, dear reader, have you wasted going from one video to another out of boredom? Without Youtube videos to watch I would actually be forced to have a conversation with my friends. Instead we just gather around the monitor and argue over what what attention seeking person's video to look up and watch next.

Youtube has not discovered anything new, it has just allowed a new outlet to watch people who really shouldn't be diving into swimming pools from their roofs. Youtube is a lot better than AFV, with the interactivity it allows us and not having to deal with Saget's droll delivery of tired jokes and for that we thank you.

UPDATE: Turns out AFV is still on television. It's really no surprise though. For the record I'm not making fun of viewers of AFV, just the show whoring out family entertainment. It's a show made for relatively no money that abuses it's own family base. The 90 percent of the show made up by videos is fine, I have no problem with that. It's the other ten percent where they try to force every joke. If the video is funny than let it be funny. Stop trying so hard.