Checking my mail for the first time in months

On the right, in my about me, you will find an email address. When I made that blog specific email account, I was not expecting to ever hear any feedback. I mostly just get feedback on my Facebook or my friends when I see them (thank you all for reading). So I never check it. I mostly use it to send myself blog topic ideas. And, as you can tell by my recent drought of quality, I haven't even used it for that lately. So imagine my surprise a week ago when I found I got a few emails from actual people.

So many Nigerian princes offering me money.

There was a lot of spam. After accumulating for months My spam folder was overflowing with penis pills and urgent requests. I never knew there were so many people in need and all requesting some money from me. Don't they know I'm a college kid? I don't have this money. Hidden between the fraud was some actual emails from people that wanted to talk to me. I was honored. Even though they didn't really amount to much.

One was from a women doing a final research project on Tim Burton, his popularity and the debate over him selling out or not. I'd like to take the time to apologize to her for not getting to her survey in time. She sent it to me more than a month ago and I doubt she needs me anymore. It was nice to hear from her though.

I do love talking about how much Tim Burton sucks.

Another email was from a band, The Boxing Lesson. Now, I know nothing about them but they were kind enough to send me a press release. God knows how many people they sent the press release to but I figure I might as well give them a plug. They are, after all, the first people to send me a release. So as a show of thanks here is the video for their song Three. I'm not sure how I feel about it though. If you like people that wear cat masks then this might be for you.



The third email I got was the one I was the most excited about. Back in October I wrote about my childhood crush on Alanna Ubach. Growing up, she was in a lot of the movies and shows I watched. She was different and funny and I think that's why I liked her so much. She had a personality and an energy that nobody else had. Then again, I was eight years old, so what did I know about girls? She was also in the Legally Blonde films. Anyway, she used to be cute when I was little. Now, watching her on the television show Hung, she's pretty damn hot. And she must be the nicest person ever because somehow she found the blog I wrote about her and emailed me.

She's awesome.

Now, I'm not totally naive. I know that it could not be her. Probably somebody just messing with me. But even if that's the case, it still means somebody cares enough about my blog to mess with me. And if it really is her, that's amazing. It's an awesome form of validation to have someone that I wrote about actually email me and tell me how much they liked the post. This blog doesn't seem like such a big waste of time anymore. So thank you readers and thank you, Alanna Ubach. If anyone wants to contact me just email me at firstsignsoftrouble@yahoo.com. I promise I'll try and check it more often.

Tim Burton has lost it

I was once a Tim Burton fan. As a kid, I grew up watching Beetlejuice whenever it was on television. I knew every line to Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure, and had my own set of Batman pajamas, complete with a cape.

As I got older, I watched his more serious films like Edward Scissorhands and Ed Wood– films as touching as they were macabre. Between all the brooding and eyeliner there was a lot of heart in these films. Somewhere along the way, however, Burton lost it. The spark that all his movies carried was extinguished. What we are left with is a shell of an artist.

Pictured: Lost credibility.

The Nightmare Before Christmas premiered on Oct. 29, 1993. While Burton didn’t direct the film, his name is attached to it and it has become known as Burton’s holiday film. I didn’t know it then, but Nightmare Before Christmas would signal what was to become of my favorite director. He would go on to pander to the Hot Topic consumer, making movies that would look good on a t-shirt.

It’s the Tim Burton brand that is holding him back. His movies have always been recognizable, but there used to be a time when artistic integrity came before aesthetics. There was once a time when Burton made art; now, he just makes products. Searching Nightmare Before Christmas on Hot Topic's homepage yielded 95 pieces of merchandise. That includes Nightmare Before Christmas t-shirts, slap bracelets, necklaces, chairs, sketchbook, underwear, silly bands and an album featuring artist Fall Out Boy and Panic! at the Disco (god I hate exclamation points). I grew up with this movie, please don't wear Jack Skellington's face over your cootch.

Damn you all for affecting my enjoyment of this classic.

Big Fish was his last great film. It’s a charming yarn about fathers, sons, and the importance of storytelling. Any director would be proud to hang their hat on it, and I hope one day it gets recognized as his masterpiece. Everything that has come after that, however, has been nothing but a disappointment. These disappointments are too wrapped up and self-satisfied with their own weirdness to care.

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Sweeney Todd and Alice in Wonderland are nothing more than repackaging with Burton’s name attached to it. These movies didn’t need to be made. The products themselves have been a mess made for no other reason than to sell shirts with Johnny Depp on them at the mall. Taking a previous property and making it weird does not constitute art. There is no message, theme, or anything to be taken from the films other than “Man, Johnny Depp sure can act strange.”

Corpse Bride was good, but in the end it was a retread to territory that Burton has already had success with in Nightmare Before Christmas. While it was a solid film, its backpedaling nature invalidates it. Sweeney Todd, for all its ambition, failed to have any real vision. While not a horrible movie, anything good about it could probably be found in the original stage production. Once you take that out, all you have left is Depp and Helena Bonham Carter in goth makeup.

Aren't they so kooky in his movies?

Depp and Bonham Carter are established and respected actors; nevertheless, Burton is using them to death. Seeing their constant inclusion in every film is distracting. Directors are allowed to keep a stable of actors, but the overuse of Depp and Bonham Carter has just become ridiculous. It’s at the point where they are no longer actors, just features in whatever product is being made.

I hope that Burton rediscovers himself soon, because his movies are a shallow reflection of how great he once was. Art takes talent to be great, not demented vision. Sadly, Burton may have lost talent. His next two planned films show no change in trend, being a remake of a vampire soap opera and a remake of one of his own short films.

To add insult to injury, there are even rumors that Disney is going to push for Alice in Wonderland to receive nominations for Best Picture and Best Director at the Academy Awards. I pray that he does not get any award, for fear of losing the director I once admired. We cannot reward him for becoming the sell out that he has become.

Lets pretend the Plant of the Apes remake never existed.