I feel old at least. My license may say that I'm turning 21 tomorrow, but dates on licenses are rarely indicative of how old one feels. As a young adult, you feel twice as old as you're suppose to, and as an adult you wish you were half as young as you are. Tomorrow I turn 21, and to me it's just another day.
Maybe I'm just blaming my age and maturity on my blase attitude towards Christmas. I use to be a Christmas nut growing up. But now I don't know. It doesn't seem like my favorite holiday anymore, just another excuse to spend time with people I had no choice but to love, even when I don't like them. I'm no Grinch or Scrooge, those characters went out of their way to not be merry. I have no such passion, just listlessness. Maybe in the eleventh hour I'll be hit with the Christmas spirit, but at the time of this writing, the only thing reminding me it's Christmas is the calendar.
I think of Charlie Brown talking to Linus about not being in the Christmas spirit. I've always considered myself a Linus, but I can't help but identify with old Chuck. It's just not the same.
"Out of all the Charlie Browns in the world, you're the Charlie Browniest."
My Christmas list always goes through the same evolution. I list a bunch of things I want on a whim and then, as I look back at the list, I realize I don't need anything. I cross things off as easily as I put them on. I can live without a new movie to watch or video game to play. And I wonder why my mom has had to wake me up the past few years. I use to be the one to wake her up.
These are the ridiculous gifts. The gifts I know I don't need but want anyway. My dream Christmas list that I never expect to actually get.
1. Lock Pick Set: No, I don't want to become a cat burglar, I just think it would be a cool skill to have. No intent on crimes here. I think it's just one more step to my life goal, being Batman. Picking locks seems like a nice puzzle, and unlike jigsaw puzzles, lockpicking actually something good that comes out of it.
2. Pocket Watch: I've always been fascinated by time. As a kid I always had to have a watch on me. At one point I wore two watches at once, one on my arm and one that clipped to my belt. Now, I realize that having a pocket watch nowadays isn't very practical and I doubt it will ever do more then collect dust on my shelf. Something inside me still wants one though. Maybe I'll wear it on special occasions.
3. Hip Flask: This one even baffles me. I don't drink, and I especially don't drink hard liquor. For me to have a hip flask is the very definition of superfluous. Maybe on day when I aspire to become a drunk, I'll be ready. Or maybe I can fill it with something else. It would just be cool to have though. Not even an engraved or flashy one, just a simple flask would do. I don't need a portrait of Bob Marley on it, or any other gaudy design that you see in Spencer Gifts.
I definitely don't need an Insane Clown Posse flask.
These are the ridiculous gifts. The gifts I know I don't need but want anyway. My dream Christmas list that I never expect to actually get.
1. Lock Pick Set: No, I don't want to become a cat burglar, I just think it would be a cool skill to have. No intent on crimes here. I think it's just one more step to my life goal, being Batman. Picking locks seems like a nice puzzle, and unlike jigsaw puzzles, lockpicking actually something good that comes out of it.
2. Pocket Watch: I've always been fascinated by time. As a kid I always had to have a watch on me. At one point I wore two watches at once, one on my arm and one that clipped to my belt. Now, I realize that having a pocket watch nowadays isn't very practical and I doubt it will ever do more then collect dust on my shelf. Something inside me still wants one though. Maybe I'll wear it on special occasions.
3. Hip Flask: This one even baffles me. I don't drink, and I especially don't drink hard liquor. For me to have a hip flask is the very definition of superfluous. Maybe on day when I aspire to become a drunk, I'll be ready. Or maybe I can fill it with something else. It would just be cool to have though. Not even an engraved or flashy one, just a simple flask would do. I don't need a portrait of Bob Marley on it, or any other gaudy design that you see in Spencer Gifts.
I definitely don't need an Insane Clown Posse flask.Merry Christmas to all of you. I hope that this holiday brings you lots of joy, and that you spend it with your favorite people. Tune in tomorrow, when I write a special edition post. It'll be an expose on what it's like to have a Christmas birthday.
Pocket watch is a must. The worst feeling in the world is to not feel anything at all. You need somthing to make yourself feel alive, and iam not talking a material object.
ReplyDeleteLook up some quotes from the movie fight club, as cliche as it sounds the way I feel alive is through pain, most people have forgotten what pain feels like. Pushing yourself to the brink then going past.
Happy Birthday