Guest Blog: Why the Stanley Cup is the best trophy in the world

I asked for bloggers and now I have to own up to it. At least once a week I'll try and post a guest blog on top of my two. This week's blog comes from my dear brother Shaun. As I once stated, he has always been an ardent hockey fan. Ever since elementary school when he had his puffy Flyers winter jacket, he has been a hockey fanatic. So, in honor of the hockey playoffs, here are his thoughts on the greatest trophy in sports. Any comments I make are in italics.

-Don Woods

For those of you who don’t know me, I am Donny’s awesome brother Shaun. For those of you who do know me, what’s good? I am here to talk to you about a subject that is near and dear to my heart. Hockey has been an important part of my life for as long as I can remember, going all the way back to Super Nintendo’s Blades of Steel. I could go on forever about my love, but I decided to do this blog post on one hockey topic in particular: the Stanley Cup. In my opinion, the Stanley Cup is, by far, the greatest single trophy in all of sports. The Stanley Cup is one of the few things in the world that make grown men cry. If you don’t agree with me (I honestly don’t know how it’s possible that you don’t), I will give you reasons why I feel it is. And please, excuse the rambling.

The road to the Stanley Cup

Hockey is, arguably, the most grueling season in sports. The NHL training camp starts in September and the playoffs end in June. An 82 game regular season is tough enough, but once you make it to the playoffs you still have to play for another 2 months of even more demanding hockey then that of the regular season. This makes a single season of hockey one of the most physically demanding sports in the world, which alone makes Lord Stanley's cup one of the hardest trophies to win.

Ray Bourque waited 22 seasons before he lifted the Cup.

History

What do the MLB, NBA and NFL trophies all have in common? They make a new one every year. Notice something missing from that list? Oh yea, the NHL. That’s because there is only one. trophy ONE. The Stanley Cup has been around since 1892 (And no, that’s not a typo). And since then, hockey has been passing around the same single trophy for over 100 years. I don’t really need to go any further than that. Every other professional sports trophy in the US is made annually by Tiffany & Company. If you are looking for any single reason why the Stanley Cup is better than every other trophy, this is it.

Do you want a trophy from a lame baseball commissioner or
Lord freakin' Stanley, Earl of Derby?

Tradition

If you took a poll of the greatest thing about winning the Stanley Cup I guarantee almost every player will tell you the same thing; getting your name engraved on it. The Stanley Cup is unique in that it is the only trophy that engraves the names of every single player on the championship team. Let’s be real, how awesome is that? The Stanley Cup has 5 rings on it each holding 13 previous championship teams and all of the players, which for the lazy or dumb means that you can read the names of every player that won the Stanley Cup all the way back to the 1940s. One look at the present Stanley Cup and you can find the names of some of the greatest players to ever play the game, and that is a chilling experience I am sure.

Sometimes there are mistakes, like when Eric Staal found an extra "a" engraved in his name.

Once you win the Stanley Cup, you get one day to do whatever you please with it. There have been hundreds of crazy stories that have happened with a player's day with the Cup, but I won’t get sidetracked by it. So if you are interested I definitely suggest you look them up. Another unwritten tradition for players is that they can never touch the Stanley Cup without winning it. The Stanley Cup must be earned. Some players will not go near the Stanley Cup for fear of jinxing yourself (This is true for fans as well, myself included. I'd refuse to go anywhere near the Stanley Cup until the Flyers win it). On a smaller scale, teams have made it a point to never touch the conference championship trophies, with the thought process being that they are playing for the Stanley Cup and all other trophies are meaningless (I wholeheartedly agree and I hate seeing divison/conference/etc memorabilia. You play for the championship, that’s the only thing that should be celebrated).

Western conference trophy looks like something you win for a derby, not a hockey game.

Size (Apparently it does matter)

The Stanley Cup is a very large trophy. It is 3 feet tall and weighs 35 pounds. This is another of the points I use mainly when arguing why the Stanley Cup is the best. When you win a championship, something you’ve been working your whole life for; do you want to pick up a little ass trophy with one hand? That’s not rewarding at all. Kids everywhere dream of one day hoisting the Stanley Cup (I still hope to one day), there is no better feeling in the world I am sure. And it's no fun hoisting up a baby trophy.

Beautiful.

-Shaun Woods

Being a sports spectator in Atlantic City

As previously stated, I was never a big sports fan. Growing up, my trophy shelf had more esoteric awards. Instead of golden baseball players on pedestals I had fishing and pinewood derby trophies. One thing I did enjoy was going to sporting events and spectating. What kid could resist going to a baseball game with their dad? Here's the thing though. My family never went to the major league games. No, instead we contented ourselves with minor league baseball and hockey in Atlantic City.

2001 - 2005

Growing up, Atlantic City always seemed special to me. As a kid, I saw running errands with my dad in Atlantic City as a treat. Driving around it and hearing stories of my dad growing up in the Ducktown neighborhood added a mystique to the city that few got. Plus, we only lived ten minutes away so it was no large feat to stop by. Being the casino town it is however, there was never really anything for families or kids to do. Now, I don't want to get into the politics of AC or the casinos, I just want to talk about how much fun it was when the Surf came to Sandcastle Stadium in 1998.

1998 - 2008

I never went to Phillies game growing up. I didn't come from a Phillies family, so we had no real desire to drive all the way to Philadelphia to watch them lose. Having a minor league team in AC allowed me and my family to enjoy baseball, or at least the baseball atmosphere, without dealing with Philly fans. I myself blame a stroller-stealing incident at my local mall involving an over-enthusiastic Phillie Phanatic in the squelching of my fandom. I won't lie though, before the Surf I was jealous of Philly fans. I saw them as spoiled kids with red jerseys. Now I see them as annoying drunk girls who are more concerned with playing beer pong in the parking lot than cheering on the home team. Either way, I was content with watching the Surf play.

What are you?!

I enjoyed the breeze the bay gave off when you sat in the stands. I liked the allure of peanut shells crunching under your feet as you yelled at people to run faster or throw better. Between innings I would explore the stadium, which always ended with me going to the arcade. I admit, as a non-sports fan I spent a little too much time in the arcade with the other nerds. But it's hard to fight the allure of a pinball machine. Ever since I was a young boy, I played the silver ball and begged my parents for quarters. But, pinball distractions aside, I stayed in my seat and watched the game. Mostly, it was because of my grandfather and uncle. It was like watching the game with the two old Muppet men. Hearing them heckle the game was almost better than watching the game.

Pictured: My uncle and poppy.

The Bullies were even better. My brother always considered himself hockey's unsung hero, so when we first heard about them coming to Boardwalk Hall we were excited. I still have my ticket stub for the first Bullies game. We were there for the first game, for every home game during the second season playoffs (including their Kelly Cup win) and for the last game. Every part of going to the hockey game was part of a tradition. Even being jerks on the elevator was part of the fun that going to a Bullies game encompassed. Atlantic City couldn't keep them though, and both sports eventually left the casino town.

I mention all of this because I just got back from an ECAC Hockey game at Boardwalk Hall. Watching hockey again brought back memories. While buying my first beer at a sporting event was a surreal event, I now know why people sneak them in their jackets. The overpriced food and conversations found in the bathroom about refs haven't changed though. I still miss the mascot Bully though. That and the Bullies booster club calling themselves the Dog Pound. I miss you Bully, where ever you are.

He roams the land like a lost mascot samurai.

Boardwalk Hall having hockey back is only a fluke though. And until recently, Sandcastle Stadium has been in disrepair. Left to the whim on nature and homeless people, the city didn't take any steps to make it nice until Dave Matthews decided to hold a concert there. It shouldn't take a concert to make the stadium relevant again, AC should of had plans for the area before that. Instead they just let it be a memorial to a baseball franchise that the city gave up on long before they stopped playing. Besides, Dave Matthews Band sucks anyway.

That's right I said it. I hate you Dave Matthews Band.

Super Bowl Edition: Sports watching for non-sports fans

I'm going to say this right off the bat, I'm not a sports guy. Growing up my brother filled that role so he took care of baseball and hurting his back in sports while I was allowed to enjoy things like books, movies and disappointing my dad. I don't even know if I ever had the capability of being a sports guy, but at this point it's too late. My brother and I both grew up with the same San Francisco Giants night-light, yet now he is the one sweating hockey and I'm the one with a pop culture blog.

Before there was hockey hair there was epic hockey mustaches.

Not being a sports fan did have its drawbacks though. When my family bonded with their annual 4th of July whiffleball match I felt out of place and when some of my friends would debate over wide receivers I was left in the dust. I didn't want to argue about Brett Favre and Daunte Culpepper, I wanted to argue over Han Solo and Greedo. So yes, in a way I did feel a little left out never following a team or having any skills whatsoever. It is this lifelong experience of being lame that has allowed me to perfect my ways in helping any nerd to enjoy sports.

Just in time for Super Bowl.

The most important thing is don't claim to like any teams. People have weird reasons to like teams. Maybe it's your local team or maybe you inherited the team from your father. Maybe it was the first game you saw or any other real reason there is to spend the rest of your life liking a team in Green Bay. In essence, you don't find your team, your team finds you. That's why you should watch what team you declare allegiance to. Real fans of the team will quiz you on the last 50 years of team history and anyone else will just scoff. Liking a team's colors is no reason to declare loyalty so don't even try.

Just because you like blue and white doesn't make you a Colts fan.

I personally don't have a favorite team. I'm not going to insult real fans by saying I'm a Penguins fan. I know that it would be a lie. So instead I just hate on teams, it's much easier to do than like a team. And all my friends know I don't know much about sports so they don't take me seriously. Now for the rest of the rules:

Know when not to hate on a team: The kid next to you could be the world's biggest Phillies fan. So before you start hating on a team know your surroundings. You don't want to be at the business end of a broken beer bottle.

Don't pretend to know the sport: It's a free throw not a three throw. Don't pretend to know the game because that's when you find out you don't even know what a flea flicker is. All you'll be able to contribute to the conversation is parroting back things you heard from real sports fans and ESPN (if it's ever on when you're in the same room) and you will never be able to do this parroting with enough conviction to make it sound like a real thought.

Know when to walk by the screen: This is the ultimate. At least learn the sport well enough to know not to walk past the screen at the worst time. You don't want everyone yelling at you just because you can't wait five seconds for the puck to stop.

Just watch the damn game: Save all the annoying questions to that one token girl on the couch. Even if you're not sure about something, figure it out yourself or look it up on Wikipedia later. Also don't be a commercial-whore. Yes they are special during the Super Bowl but don't buy into the advertiser's hype.

Learn to enjoy sitting around: Whether it's watching the television or riding the pine, learn to enjoy sitting.

Gamble: Gambling makes everything fun.

You don't need to overcompensate your love for sports, but there is still a lot to enjoy when you get into it. There is a reason why it is such a big part of our culture, there is genuine drama to be had in each pass or sack. You don't need to be the annoying girl who cheers on each Cowboys play like it's life or death (we get it, you're the "girl that likes sports"). Even on the simplest level, sitting on a couch and watching the game with the guys is nice male-bonding, especially when one super Giants fan is yelling his head off. Having something to watch makes the silence less awkward also.

It also gives you an excuse to eat buffalo wings. Just eat and shut up.