The demise of NJN

I was too hard on public broadcasting in my Pawn Stars post. In that post I mentioned that nothing cool could ever come from public broadcasting. It is only now that I admit that was a lie. Just an excuse for a cheap gag. In actuality, I'm a fan of public broadcasting. I'll be the first to admit that a state network is important. This, however, is one opinion that New Jersey and I differ on. On June 30, the New Jersey Network, which has been in operation since 1971, ceased operation.

Gone, and probably will be forgotten in a few years.

In the state's herculean task to cut spending, NJN was offered up as a sacrifice. But really, public broadcasting can't cost that much. Yes, the state is footing the bill a bit, but the bill is worth it. Is the state really scrounging for every nickle and dime it can like a teenager rummaging through couch cushions? Being an affiliate with PBS, the public helped pay for NJN. And if the public is helping pay for it, that should be cause enough to try and keep it.

We're only constantly reminded that before and after every program.

With the doors of NJN closing, that meant 130 people lost their jobs. Gov. Chris Christie may see this as a sacrifice to the greater good of the state, but at the end of the day it's just 130 people unemployed. This isn't like Christie's attempt at cutting the budgetary fat in education (which I also had problems with), this is the termination of an institution that was there long before Christie came around.

Christie's governorship is the fuel for many a family's dinner table debate.

Public broadcasting should fall under the public trust doctrine. Each state's network is for the benefit of that public and is tailor made for each state's demographic. The programming helps retain the state's identity. Of all states, Jersey needs to keep this alive. We're a state brimming with character and charm. And while we're being caricatured on MTV and every other Jersey-bandwagon jumping show, there needs to be a place on television reserved for a more respectful view of the Garden State. But to base New Jersey-centric television in New York, like the plan is now, is completely disrespectful.

NJN lets you look at Jersey past each Exit ramp.

NJN will live on somehow. It was an institution that has been around for 40 years. There's a legacy in there. Every movie-day in science class taken from a teacher's worn out VHS tape, NJN'll be there. Every recorded episode of Nova, NJN'll be there. Ever time a New Jersey child hugs their Elmo doll, NJN'll be there. And every pledge-drive tote bag being used by an old lady when she's grocery shopping, NJN'll be there too.

Now if you'll excuse me, Breaking Bad premieres tonight and I need to get properly pumped up.

Nancy Grace and Casey Anthony

My grandmother (whom I affectionately refer to as Nana) loves Nancy Grace. She watches HLN every night and devours everything Grace has to say. And as much as I love my Nana, I can't help but disapprove of her HLN addiction. To me, Grace has always been a horrible excuse for a human being. She's a bully, a narcissist and a war hawk for the justice system. While many of her supporters may love her for these very same reasons, I can't help but hold contempt for her.

Unholy beast.

For the most part, Grace was nothing more than a sideshow. On the fringe of cable news television, HLN (formerly Headline News) always grasped straws at what news was. Numerous times, when discussing the channel, I've referred to it as the "Lost White-Girl Network". Every human interest story and new "it" suburban tragedy finds itself done to death on the network and, specifically, on Grace's program. If CNN is the Time Magazine of cable news, than HLN is the People Magazine.

On the off chance I ever need to depend on People for future job prospects,
I apologize now for harsh words.

Grace spewed her hatred on a cable news channel watched mostly by bored housewives. And that's where she belonged, in her own corner away from any real journalism (I'll reserve the debate on the necessity for 24-hour cable news for another day). Now and then Grace takes up a special cause to rally around and, in her own passion for the topic, kills it into the ground. She falsely called for the heads of Duke lacrosse players and even got told off by Elizabeth Smart, one of her previous pet projects. But my worst fears have been realized as of late. In the circus that was the Casey Anthony trial, Grace found a perfect podium for her rhetoric. And the ratings have never been better.

R.I.P. Caylee

Grace actually has people listening to her now. Not just her usual devoted followers (my Nana included), but now a whole nation was watching her. If O.J. Simpson was the trial of the century than this was the trial of the new millennium. And unlike during O.J.'s reign, information is now instant and over-saturated. I remember when Caylee first went missing. I was actually in Orlando around the time it happened, on a family vacation. I remembered seeing the billboards and feeling sorry for the family. Three years later, the case has finally erupted into the storm it was destined to be.

One family's tragedy, another family's dinner table conversation.

Now, I'm not here to judge Casey Anthony's guilt. Everyone else in the world has done that enough. I'm just taken aback by the reaction. The case definitely deserves media attention, with its unusualness, heartbreak and the fact that the Anthony family has put themselves in the spotlight (aforementioned billboards). While she was found acquitted (remember, it's not like she was found innocent), a nation calls for her blood. And at the front of that charge is Grace, in all her blonde-bobbed glory.

I mentioned my use of memes in gauging news before.

Nancy Grace is not a mad prophet of the airwaves. She's not a leader in the cause of justice. She's just a crazy women with a hard on for missing white women. She's overzealously thrown herself into any case with a whiff of media attention, and now one of those piles of crap have finally paid off for her. It remains to be seen how she keeps up the momentum of her new-found credibility, (I imagine six-months worth of Casey Anthony trial reactions) but she will milk this for as much as it's worth. Not because of justice but because now she has people watching her rants and belittling interview style. Casey Anthony was definitely not innocent but her guilt is still unclear enough to be debatable. Grace is neither judge, jury or executioner. She's just a lady with a big mouth.

Grace talking about the Duke Lacrosse case, for which they were falsely accused.

Linkin Park: The official band of Transformers

I previously stated how my friends and I all grew up loving Taking Back Sunday. Well, before TBS there was another band we all enjoyed. While many may deny their love of the band, everyone I know liked Linkin Park at some point. Anyone that says they didn't like them is lying. It was impossible not to when they came out in 2000. While their relevancy may have diminished in the years since Hybrid Theory, their debut album, the band has reinvented themselves. They have since become the official/unofficial band of the Transformers film series. I'll let you decide whether that's selling out or not.

You can't sell out with holes in your ears, it's a proven fact.

Linkin Park erupted onto the scene with Hybrid Theory. While critics met the album lukewarmly, pre-teens bought it up. Linkin Park took the nu metal sound that saturated the modern rock stations and made it whiny enough to be identifiable. Instead of Fred Durst rapping about nookie or Korn, well, just being Korn, Linkin Park packaged the sound into an easily digestible morsel. Korn was for people that wore JNCO jeans and you didn't talk to in the hallway. Linkin Park was for everyone.

And everyone bought it.

Anyone that claims to like some form of rock listened to and probably owned Hybrid Theory. It was too ubiquitous to escape from. They owned the radio. And their music videos were interesting and numerous enough to guarantee MTV airplay. They even partied with Jay-Z. In the two albums they were relevant with, Hybrid Theory and Meteora, they had 10 singles between them. That's a whole album's worth of songs for 13-year-old me to rock out too. And rock out I did.

Sometimes the CD player would skip, I rocked out so much.

Linkin Park was there for my middle school angst. I had my first girlfriend in 7th grade. The only time we ever spoke was when I asked her to date me. A week and a few instant message conversations later and we were through. She dumped me. In my first experience with heartbreak, I turned to Linkin Park. They understood my pain and frustration. They sang the feelings that I was too young to properly express. In the End was especially comforting. They really felt my Mickey-Mouse pain.

One of my favorite descriptions for childish things is referring to it as Mickey Mouse.

I don't mean to show Linkin Park any disrespect, because I really did like them a lot when I was in middle school. I even did a class project on them once. I'm still sore about never getting my copy of Meteora back from my friend from down the street. But, after Hybrid Theory and Meteora, Linkin Park faded out. The rap/rock combination was no longer cool. While defining them as rap/rock didn't quite do them justice, they were still pigeon-holed in that genre. And when the genre lost relevancy, so did Linkin Park. I almost forgot about them until Transformers came out in 2007. All three movies have been major blockbusters, and Linkin Park supplied the big single for each iteration.

Must be a pretty sweet gig.

Linkin Park's future is now linked with Transformers, which isn't too bad for them. The first two Transformers, while not loved critically, made more than a billion worldwide. Transformers: Dark of the Moon, released June 29, is poised to be another megahit. And though it is horrible to say, I don't believe Linkin Park have sold out by being linked with Michael Bay's extravaganza. Because, before 2007, Linkin Park were completely forgotten. Bay's trilogy resurrected the band and allowed them to be heard by a new generation of whiny preteens. And that isn't so bad.

Arguably their best song and, in my opinion, the one that has had the most staying power.

The first Transformers was a remake of Small Soldiers

A boy, lost in suburbia, gets mixed up in a rivalry between two groups of inanimate objects. The boy helps the good-guys win and in the end wins the affection of the girl of his dreams. While yes, this plot could describe most movies directed towards the male 13-18 demographic, there are two movies in particular I want to talk about. To me, 2007's Transformers and 1998's Small Soldiers are the same basic movie.

Bear with me, dear reader.

Comparing basic plot points, both movies are basically identical. Both involve two lines of toys battling it out. While yes, a car is a much bigger toy than an action figure, a car is basically and adult's toy. Grown men and children are both passionate and protective over their toys. And the fact that Transformers is based off of a toy line helps my argument further. While Transformers has Autobots and Decepticons, Small Soldiers has Commando Elite and Gorgonites. Basically, Transformers is just Small Soldiers on a much larger scale.

The Autobot logo has a five-head.

It is true that the Transformers franchise has been around since the 80s, but remember that I'm not talking about the franchise itself but just the first movie. Both movies involve awkward teenagers thrust into action by inanimate objects. And getting the girl in the end helps a lot too. And while I've always had a crush on Kirsten Dunst since her Spider-Man days, it's hard not to leer at Megan Fox's, now iconic, engine checking.

[Insert dip-stick joke here]

Probably the most interesting reason for the comparison, to me, is Kevin Dunn. Dunn plays the bumbling father in both movies. And the roles are pretty much interchangeable. Now yes, there are only so many ways to play a frazzled father, but to me this is the main link to both movies. Transformers may very well be a hidden remake to the modest 1998 hit. Or maybe even a quasi-sequel. Maybe Dunn's character secretly had two families.

It's always the people you least expect.

Really, in the end, I just want more people to know about Small Soldiers. Because I remember enjoying it as a kid. It's like Transformers enough to be noteworthy. Small Soldiers is even, arguably, better than Transformers. Both are dumb popcorn movies but Small Soldiers has more heart. Transformers is just a big car commercial. And Small Soldiers was Phil Hartman's last film. That's reason enough to check it out.

The popularity of junk shows

Contrary to popular belief, one man's trash is, in fact, another man's trash. There is no treasure to be found at estate sales, flea markets, swap meets or any other gathering that involves the sale of musty smelly trinkets that old people collect. Somehow, there is a whole niche audience that loves watching people find diamonds in piles of trash. This is the only explanation for the recent rash of shows revolving around junk. Pawn Stars is one of the most popular shows on cable, and now it has lots of competition.

Who says television stars have to be glamorous?

Really, the whole concept can be traced back to Antiques Roadshow. Roadshow has been popular since it first started airing in the United States. People would flock to find if their antique ottoman was a secret to vast riches. The thing of it is, while popular, Antiques Roadshow aired on PBS and nothing cool ever emerged out of public broadcasting (sorry Fred Rodgers). When Pawn Stars premiered in 2009, it took the Roadshow format and put a nice white-trash spin on it.

There's gold in them thar homes.

But even with unlikable stars and Rick's wheezy laugh, Pawn Stars blew up. History Channel, being the whore that it has become, replicated the success with American Pickers. Now, many have condemned the Pickers for swindling lonely folks out of their possessions, and their points may but valid, but those people are whiners. This is capitalism here. Yes the men may be pushy and shady about their deals (especially the fat one), but these guys are living off trash. You can't have scruples when you make a living off of junk. And they might dress up their show, saying it's about finding artifacts, but that's just pretension. Finding a tin gas station sign does not make it historical. The show is really about two things: man-love between two grown men and capitalism. If you don't like that, you're a commie.

"Buy for a nickle, sell for a dime." -Prop Joe (The Wire)

With two big hits centered around junk, all the other channels began copying off of History Channel. Discovery Channel has Oddities and Auction Kings, truTV has Hardcore Pawn, Spike has Auction Hunters, A&E has Storage Wars, Syfy has Hollywood Treasure (a movie-memorabilia spin on American Pickers) and National Geographic has Flea Man. And each show is as derivative and uninspired as it sounds.

I was very disappointed to find out Flea Man was about flea markets.

Now everyone thinks their junk is worth a fortune. Masses are visiting yard sales, hoping to find the Ark of the Covenant next to the old PEZ dispensers and VHS tapes. And this market of junk is probably ruining the speculator's market. All of these shows base their earnings on auction prices, but with a surge in tin signs found in old garages, the earnings are just going to drop. In the meantime, people are just hoarding their collectors pieces waiting for the dust gathering objects to turn a profit before it gets too much rat poop on it to be unsellable.

Thrift stores, now for prospectors along with lower-middle class people and hipsters.

These shows are only validating the people who look to sell their grandparents belongings for a quick buck. Heirlooms are no longer prized family possessions but are instead a quick way to make a few hundred bucks. There is now another outlet for people's greed, only this time it's junk being abused. And though some people make it big with a limited edition toy car, most of the artifacts are really just junk. The only value is an intrinsic and personal value. Junk should be about emotional attachment, not Laurel and Hardy giving you a price on an old bicycle.

I hate the fat one.