Friday, July 23, 2010

Stallone blames his crappy career on bat-nipples

In a recent Yahoo Movies article, Sylvester Stallone blames the Batman movie from 1989 for destroying 80's action movies. In the article, Stallone states that actors can now "Velcro your muscles on" instead of having to hit the gym. Does this mean you have to hit the gym and be as ripped as Stallone to be a good action hero? Do the muscles make the actor? Does Stallone want to be the next Batman?

I am Batman.

Stallone blaming Michael Keaton as Batman is a cop out and unfair to Batman (89). Yes, Keaton had a Batman suit with more defined muscles then he really had but to say that it ruined the industry of action movies is hyperbole. To blame a Tim Burton film for Stallone making crappy movies makes Stallone look like a baby.

A baby with his mommy.

Basically what Stallone is complaining about is that the good action star roles get taken by actual actors instead of steroid raging foreigners. In reality, it's what an actor does with the role that is important, even if that role is Judge Dredd. Hell, Anthony Hopkins once played a black man in a film but it's Anthony freaking Hopkins so how are you going to tell him differently.

Go ahead, just try and tell AH what to to.

Stallone also complains that the special effects became more important than the individual person. Now while that may be frighteningly semi-true, is it really any different than focusing on stunt work? The action films that Stallone champion aren't any better movies than the ones he hates. Neither kind of movie has any better story or action. Instead of effects the older movies just focused on stunt work and ripping people's throats out.

All that truly matters is the story. To find the most obvious example; let's look at Christopher Nolan and his movies. Inception had some amazing action scenes and it was still an amazing, mind-blowing movie. And to bring it back full circle, Nolan's work on Batman shows how an action movie should be done right.

We get it Stallone, you're not happy with your career. We can tell just by you making unnecessary sequels to your beloved classics (i.e. Rocky and Rambo). So please, stop trying to draw attention to yourself anymore in your cinematic mid-life crisis.

1 comment:

  1. Wow! I saw this really great blog today.I like it..
    breast clips
    Buy Nipple Clamps - Pair of Clips on Steel Chain - BDSM Erotic Sex Toys on ? FREE SHIPPING on qualified orders.