Tuesday, March 1, 2011

83rd Academy Awards wrap up

(Note from the Editor: I wrote this while trying to stay awake on Nyquil, so I apologize.)

Post-Academy Award scrutiny usually has to do with people's dresses or how good the skits were between awards. All people care about is outrageous fashion and who made a full of themselves. I personally don't care an oompa loompa about all that stuff (apologizes to every English teacher I ever had for using the word stuff). All I care about is the movies.

The one in the right-hand corner looks so sad..

I admit, a lot of my picks were off. But that doesn't make me wrong. No, that makes the Academy wrong. The night started out well enough, with me correctly guessing Melissa Leo as Best Supporting Actress. That one was easy though, and I proceeded to fail on both writing Oscars. Toy Story 3 won Best Animated but there was no suprise there. Now if Toy Story 3 won Best Picture it would be surpising. The thing of it is, I never got why they expanded the category to 10 nominees. You just know that some of those films don't belong on the list. In the end only one can win, so what's the point of sticking 10 movies in there? All it does is make Steven Spielberg read more names when he announces the winners.

Hurry up and make the Hook sequel already.

I figured that Social Network wouldn't win Best Adapted Screenplay, with the debated verocity of the original book, but that and Aaron Sorkin's overwritten dribble didn't stop it from winning. King's Speech won Best Original Screenplay, which set the stage for a night of King's Speech loving. Alice in Wonderland won best Art Direction, which does nothing but further validate the Tim Burton fanclub that eat up every swirly piece of vomit he unleashes onto cinema.

RIP Burton's credibility, 1985-2003.

Inception was awarded the consolidary technical awards. It's like losing the race but still getting the trophy in the end. Inception only getting technical awards is like the Academy saying, "Yeah, you were pretty cool but you're still not sitting at our lunch table." I was also wrong about Christian Bale and the Best Supporting Actor award. I swore he wouldn't get it because he is too crazy. I figured, the fact that he goes all out in every role that this particular character would get lost with all the others. I was wrong though. I guess Bale being a supporting actor helped though. The fact that he wasn't the focal point of the movie allowed him to shine more. I feel bad for Geoffery Rush though.

Then again he already has a Best Actor award.

Natalie Portman won her award, which was no surprise at all. And I was right about Colin Firth winning his. Yes, the British dude your mom likes now has a statue and I'm happy for him. Best Director ticked me off. They awarded it to someone who made a glorified made-for-television movie while there were so many visionary directors on the list. Why award mediocrity when actual genius was a choice. And King's Speech winning Best Picture just settles it.

They could of picked any other nominated movie and find a winner. But no, the Academy ended up picking the cliche Oscar-bait film. Instead of picking any of the films that showed actual innovation, they awarded it to a movie that was completely by the numbers. I'm not saying that it sucked, I'm just saying that the Academy could of done so much more by picking another movie. By picking any other movie they would be rewarding the progress of the art of cinema and not reiterating the continuous award-winning sterotype.

This whole rushed post is brought to you by Nyquil.

Overall it wasn't a bad year,. Even Bob Hope's ghost came out to party. I just wish that they did more though. Instead they played it safe. We'll see how next year turns out. As for my blog, tune in next time when I talk about how crazy Charlie Sheen is. Now if you'll excuse me, I have some snood to play.

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