Tuesday, February 15, 2011

So sick of being tired and oh so tired of being sick

According to Webster's dictionary, sick is defined as being not in good health, ill, nauseated or disgusted. What Websters needs to do is update its entry to include sick as in awesome or sick as in "sick nasty." Either way, using the conventional definition, I have come to a conclusion. Ladies and germs, I am sick. So sick that I am not really in the mood to write (hence the nauseating opening I wrote. I promise I don't support such writing). In an effort to fill my blog-day quota and whine to you all, I present the following word vomit while I fight the urge to vomit. This will be one of my frustrated, rushed posts that I will never bother to re-read.

Even vomiting can be artistic when it's painted.

As a hypochondriac I am shocked to be feeling so under the weather. Any chance of having germs I rush to the sink and start scrubbing. Thanks to my crazy hand washing habits I rarely get sick. When I am under the weather, I try not to let it get in the way of work and chores though. I only have my mother to thank for my indelible work ethic. She passed this on to me by refusing to ever let me call out of school. Thanks to her I was awarded perfect attendance in 8th grade and cannot bring myself to ever call out of work. I rarely get sick, but when I do it is sufficient to say that I turn into a big baby.

Big, big, big baby.

Normally when people are sick around me I have the same advice for them every time. Now that I myself am sick, I am forced to eat my own words and follow my own crappy advice.

Orange Juice: Every jackass on Facebook likes to mention vitamin C whenever someone is sick. I hate to say it but it does work. Even if it's purely psychosomatic, buy a whole gallon of orange juice and start chugging. Note: Sunny D and Orange Soda is not a proper substitute.

Who loves orange soda?

Medicine: Too expensive. Yes, some Nyquil works wonders but I don't have this money. So I'll have to do without it or at least try and steal from my roommate. I'm sure he won't mind. My parents grew up in houses where the only medicine was Robitussin and Vick's vapor rub. So guess what I have to smear on my chest whenever I'm congested.

Soup: Never been a soup fan, but chicken noodle is pretty irresistible. Note: you can never have too many crackers.

Tea: I'm a tea drinker, I won't lie. Probably one of the happiest moments of my past few months was when my friend got a tea infuser. Lame? Perhaps but it's cool as hell. I always find that tea helps relax the throat and adds some nice warmth to the body. Also I remember a past co-worker swore by green tea and honey when you have a sore throat. So ever since then I've been a tea nut. Biscuits are optional.

Staying hydrated: Really all I end up doing is having to refill my roommate's Brita pitcher. Also, I remember that the only good part of being sick was getting to drink ginger ale while lying in bed. So why not throw some ginger ale in there too?

Sleep: No time for sleep.

So there is my potboiler post. I hope you enjoyed it. At the very least I hope I didn't turn off any readers for such a crappy post. Tune in next time when I actually have something important to say. Just don't ask me what next post will be about, I haven't thought that far ahead.

P.S. Congrats Arcade Fire on getting Album of the Year

1 comment:

  1. Hi Don:
    You don't have to suffer. Put down the cough medicine, vitamin c, and the tea, and get some Echinacea at your local drug or health food store. It's an herb that will relieve you of your symptoms and shorten your cold. We don't even buy cough medicine anymore. Good Luck.