Friday, August 20, 2010

Insert witty vampire pun here

Let's start off by saying that vampires are past the point of overexposure. I assume that most people, like myself, are tired of even hearing the word vampire (I've always preferred zombies personally). Twilight is, of course, to blame for this epidemic. With it's laborious storyline spanning four books and culminating into one big sex after marriage moral, it's ripe for parody. With that being said, I doubt anything is horrible enough to deserve it's own spoof movie.

Even their posters aren't trying anymore.

The spoof movie, the lowest form of cinema. While some spoof movies turn out solid (the first Scary Movie and Not Another Teen Movie), others are just pop culture mad libs. They are time capsules of the worst aspects of the time they were made. They meander from one stale reference to another to the point where you wonder why they even try anymore. The latter kind of spoof movie has one thing in common, the writer/director team of Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer (makers of such classics as Date Movie, Epic Movie, Meet the Spartans and Disaster Movie).

What are they laughing at? Maybe they rented Airplane!

Lets start off by saying that these two are not the new Zucker, Abrahams and Zucker. They aren't even the new Waynes Brothers. They may belong to the same school of comedy as ZAZ but they have none of the class (yes compared to Friedberg and Seltzer, ZAZ has class). They want to be ZAZ but fail so spectacularly at it. Their movies follow the same formula to the cringe inducing end.

By taking whatever genre they want and spicing it up with easy pop culture targets at the time (with gags involving such resilient icons like Amy Winehouse) the result becomes a mess destined for the bargain bin at your local supermarket. These movies are so bad that even Leslie Nielsen won't touch it.What you do have are Madtv refugees playing five roles a piece and doing that same shtick they did on Madtv when it started to suck (except for the Stuart sketches, those will always rule). Speaking of spoof movie regulars, I'm surprised to find that Tony Cox isn't in Vampires Suck anywhere. Maybe he was busy or maybe he wised up to whoring himself out to spoof movies.

He's probably mad that Warwick Davis gets all the good roles (funfact: both men played ewoks).

Really what it comes down to is parody for parody sake to give the failed sketch comedy actors someone to imitate. Pick someone to do an impression of and try to fit them into the patchwork story that comes out of the long list of fodder. What Friedberg and Seltzer do isn't writing and it's an insult to real comedy writers out there. I like to think of the reason for their existing careers is the same reason why a Saw movie comes out every year: they're easy to write and cheap to make. Producers are probably looking for the short money and hoping that enough people buy tickets in the first weeks that they see some profit. Really though, these movies are an insult to the business.

Vampires aren't cool anymore and having a spoof movie just shows how finished the genre is. Nowadays vampires are just too easy a target and it was only a matter of time before the hacks that are Friedberg and Seltzer decided to make a movie about it. The fact that a spoof movie is being made about vampires and Twilight to be specific shows how it's just too easy to make fun of them. I hate vampires nowadays but I hate spoof movies even more.

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